Alice’s Book Club – SPRING session of 2021

As the current spring is nicely unfolding around here, on Friday (May 28’21) I was very happy to be able to meet with few friends for my seasonal book club session, this time discussing relationships.

On the other hand, since lots of restrictions relating to this prolonged pandemic are still in place (to different degrees, in different areas), I continue to choose the available technology, having our meeting on line.  

Now, the topic of the evening (“relationships”) is actually really vast, and I truly believe that in life it is extremely important to know how to build healthy relationships, how to keep them and how to terminate them if they become toxic.
During our gathering this time, I think we just barely scratched the surface, but nonetheless, we addressed a number of significant aspects. Aside of that, participants were given ahead of time reading materials issued by two big Universities, but beyond that they each brought along many personal perspectives. It was really great to notice how easily my guests engaged so openly in conversation, bringing at the dialogue table different standpoints relating to the subject of the night. 

Like I always do, in my public briefing, I won’t get into very specific details, keeping confidentiality in mind, but I will pencil below only several highlights, worth considering, as well as several concepts extracted from classics:
- Relationships cannot grow without proper (& effective) communication; if communication starts to fade this would have a negative impact on your relationship/s
- Sometimes you learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning (pay attention to details in order to avoid potential disappointments) 
- As we go through life, we understand that it is not important to have many relationships (or very many friends), but it is more important to have true relationships 
- It helps to understand that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship in your life
- Choose your relationships wisely; being alone will never cause you as much loneliness or headaches as having the wrong relationships
- No relationship is ever a waste of your time; if it didn’t bring you what you wanted, for sure it taught you what you don’t want
- When a relationship is over, leave; don’t continue to water dead flower (keep toxic people far away)
- Great relationships are based on honesty and clarity, not on guessing or mind-reading / - Communicate respectfully, even when it is uncomfortable or uneasy
- Always remember that in a relationship, someone’s effort is a reflection of their interest in you (if the effort is not equal you might need to reconsider)
- Wise people believe that good relationships do not depend on how well we understand someone, but it depends on how well we manage misunderstandings
- A great relationship is about two important things: first, it is about finding out similarities, and secondly, it is about respecting differences
- It is important to know well your entourage, so make sure everybody in your ‘boat’ is rowing and not drilling holes when you are not looking.
We wrapped up the evening all agreeing that it is paramount to keep our relationships positive, remembering that quality is way more important than quantity.

Also, here I’m sharing with you two materials I put together a while ago, relating to this theme, called:
“Importance of FRIENDSHIP” & "Few additional words of wisdom about relationships".

As I conclude my briefing, once again much gratitude to these beautiful friends who made time to be able to join my seasonal book club….their kindness very encouraging and their support is always highly appreciated! Until we meet again, my warmest regards!
Alice

Time is precious, so make sure you spend it with the right people.

Few additional words of wisdom about relationships

As we each walk our own path, we encounter lots of beautiful illustrations teaching us to be wise…yes, I’m referring to that collection of experiences and virtues that shape our vision in life. For your reference, below I’m sharing few words of wisdom, which I find worth sharing further….enjoy this light reading!

Insights concerning relationships
′′Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having hard conversations with people who don't want change.
- Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it's a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.
- When you begin to fight for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place. This doesn't mean you need to change what you are, it means you should let go of the people who aren't ready to accompany you.
- If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don't do yourself a favor by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.
- That's what makes it so special when you meet people who reciprocate love. You will know how precious you are.
- The more time you spend trying to make yourself loved by someone who is unable to, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of this connection to someone else.
- There are billions of people on this planet and many of them will meet with you at your level of interest and commitment.
- The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow, a background option or a therapist for emotional healing, the longer you stay away from the community you want.
- Maybe if you stop showing up, you won't be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting your phone will stay dark for weeks. That doesn't mean you ruined the relationship, it means the only thing holding it back was the energy that only you gave to keep it.
This is not love, it is attachment. It is wanting to give a chance to those who don't deserve it. You deserve so much, there are people who should not be in your life; be mindful of that and keep things simple and clear (for yourself and for those involved).
- The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, and both are limited. When you give your time and energy, it will define your existence. When you realize this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, places or situations that don't suit you and shouldn't be around you, your energy is stolen. You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and for everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, in which only ′′compatible′′ people are allowed.
- You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It is not your work to exist for people and give your life to them! If you feel bad, if you feel compelled, you will be the root of all your problems, fearing that they will not return the favours you have granted. It is your only obligation to realize that you are the love of your destiny and accept the love you deserve.
- Decide that you deserve true friendship, commitment, true and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how much everything begins to change. Don't waste time with people who are not worth it. Change will give you the love, the esteem, happiness and the protection you deserve.

“Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.” (Sophocles)

May 2021: Happy MOTHER’s Day!

Celebrating Mother's day for a day is not enough to thank every single mother in this world, because no one can replace her at any cost.

~ Wishing all mothers I know to feel loved and appreciated...today and always! ~ 

● My previous greetings on the same theme: MOTHER's Day – 2020, 2019

3 Years Anniversary of ALICE & FRIENDS CIRCLE™

 Romanian literary evening featuring 3^rd year anniversary of ALICE & Friends Circle™

as well as Positivity, Communication & Balanced Relationships

I am delighted to share that on Tuesday (May 4, 2021) we had the third anniversary of ALICE & Friends Circle™, celebrated on line together with a group of dear and loyal friends. Whether we realize it or not, time is flying by very fast, and YES, our Circle marked 3 years of existence – fact which gave us all the perfect occasion to manifest our group satisfaction.

Nowadays, since the pandemic related restrictions continue to be strongly enforced by the officials throughout the entire world in order to limit socializing, the available technology came again to rescue offering us the possibility to communicate with each other.

This time, at our gathering we were pleased to have with us again a dear guest of honor – Dr. Ovidiu Grecea, who is the General Consul of Romania and the Head of the Romanian Diplomatic Mission in Vancouver, as well as Plenipotentiary Minister of Romania in Canada.

After everyone settled in, I was happy to open the evening with a concise slide show (published below), in order to re-emphasize several highlights from the existence of our circle…reiterating beautiful moments spent together over the last 3 years brought back to each of us many pleasant memories.

Also, I’m fully aware that ALICE & Friends Circle™ has a number of wonderful participants and in my opinion they each deserve to be recognized in a way or another, but above and beyond, at this gathering I was pleased to nominate two special friends (Dorina Aldea & Dana Secu) for walking the extra mile and proving their outstanding loyalty to our group. As I’ve said many times before, I truly appreciate all those who join us when they can, but it really warms my heart to see how some people make time to join our events and the two rewards of the evening are an example of such attitude, which fills my heart with so much gratitude!

Then, our guest of honor, Consul Grecea congratulated the group for all the achievements and encouraged us all to continue to stay united and inspired, because such activities would enrich each of us even more. To our delight, our guest also quoted few lines from Eminescu (recognized as Romania’s national poet), whom we all hold in high regard. Further, our dear friends Dorina & Dana (the two awardees of the evening) expressed their appreciation and offered genuine congratulation since we (as a group) reached so far in time.

Next, every guest of this festive evening got the chance to express their appreciative remarks about the existence and the activities of ALICE & Friends Circle™.

In addition to our festive celebration, the group discussions emphasized the significance of positivity, communication and balanced relationships.

Due to confidentiality, as I usually do, I won’t get into the very specific details discussed, but rather I’m sharing only few highlights as well as few additional points:

● Thoughts shared about ALICE & Friends Circle™

- This circle of friends is offering the beautiful joy of belonging to a group of People (yes, capital P) whom we resonate with

- Here, at our gatherings, we all experience a true and honest communication

- All the invited guests feel good, all feel welcome and encouraged to express themselves with authenticity

- From a roundtable perspective, our circle, has been compared by a dear guest with a masterpiece sculpture executed by Constantin Brâncuşi (a famous Romanian sculptor), called “Masa Tăcerii”; she feels that here is a peaceful place where we could reunite, talk and ponder upon matters pertaining to collective interest  

- Another dear guest of the evening compared our circle with another masterpiece also executed by Brâncuşi, wishing our Circle a long & healthy existence

Additionally, Trandafir family composed a song for our circle that both interpreted at this festive gathering…a lovely gesture, indeed!

● Few thoughts about the significance of positivity

- It has been reminded that a positive attitude brings much gratitude / - After all, being positive is a matter of personal choice

- Nowadays, given the crisis the entire world is facing, being positive is becoming crucial

-  Avoiding toxic positivity allows people to remain realistic, but with an optimist life outlook

- Positive thinking is empowering; being positive doesn’t mean ignoring the negative; being positive means overcoming the negative

- When you focus on positivity you will begin to see many beautiful things around yourself

● Few thoughts about the significance of communication

- A good relationship starts with a good communication; without communication there is no relationship

- Lack of communication could ruin everything because instead of knowing how the other person feels, we just assume

- The biggest communication problem is that most of the time people do not listen to understand; they listen to reply

- A good communication leads to a good community; it is not distance that keeps people apart, but rather the lack of communication

- The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives

● Few thoughts about the significance of balanced relationships

- Balanced relationships are always based on mutual respect

- In everything we do in life, balance is the key; the secret to life is finding balance in everything we do

- Balanced relationships are about two things: first, it is about finding the similarities, and second, it is about respecting the differences

- Balanced behavior is always greater than knowledge because in life there are many situations where knowledge fails, but behavior still can handle it

- Balance is not something we find, but rather something we create.

As usual, our group discussions were vivid, open, from heart to heart, from mind to mind, making us all completely forget the time…it is always so captivating to talk to people who are on the same wave length.

But before we wrapped up the evening, on the wings of the music offered by the famous song called “La mulţi ani!” (a song that is very near and dear to each of us) we had a group toast wishing each other only the best, at the same time trusting that for all the good things that life has to offer there is always a great blessing!

Last but not least, given that soon on this part of the world people will celebrate Mother’s Day (on May 9’21) at this time I’m sending along my warmest regards to all mothers who are part of ALICE & Friends Circle™ wishing them good health, joy and happiness!

Until next time, once again, my best wishes to each guest of this special evening!

Alice

Mesaj personal din partea lui Alice, adresat la ceas aniversar

Dragii mei,
Pentru mine a fost o bucurie absolut deosebită să fim împreună la aniversarea de 3 ani a cercului nostru când încă-odată mi s-a confirmat cât este de important să ne îndreptăm atenţia înspre proiecte frumoase, care chiar dacă necesită un efort continuu pâna la urmă au capacitatea de a ne umple la fiecare în parte sufletele de o mulţumire profundă – mulţumire care ne surprinde şi ne apropie.

Cercul nostru nu este foarte mare şi poate că nu are neapărat faima unui renume răsunător dar în ultimă instanţă oglindeşte dorinţa concretă a unor oameni preocupaţi de frumos...suntem un grup mic, dar avem idealuri înalte – palpabile şi tangibile….sigur, ne-am dori să fie mai mulţi cei preocupaţi de frumos, de activităţi comunitare, de implicare, de relaţionare echilibrată, ponderată şi civilizată, de colaborare dezinvoltă pentru exemplificarea bogăţiei culturale a ţării de baştină, dar facem ce putem, cât putem şi cu cine putem….important este că nu ne împiedicăm de scuze pentru a face ceva frumos, ci cu stoicism mereu căutăm soluţii pentru a continua, pentru a progresa şi...pentru a exista ca grup.

Trăim cu toţii într-o lume în care se pare că timpul nu ne mai ajunge, când multe principii şi valori încet-încet dispar, când goana după iluzii pare să fie tot mai acaparantă, când sufletele noastre devin tot mai însetate de bine şi frumos – deci, în măsura în care putem, să ne oferim posibilitatea de a cultiva acel frumos care ne încarcă bateriile.
Cred cu multă tărie că este înţelept să fim ceea ce suntem cu adevărat şi în expunerile noastre cultural-literare să spunem ceea ce simţim, pentru că cei care se supără nu contează iar cei care contează nu se supără, altfel, la sfârşit, vom regreta timpul pierdut şi şansele de care n-am beneficiat….deci, aşa cum ziceam, să continuăm să savurăm împreună această mică oază de linişte şi bucurie lăuntrică!

Vă doresc numai bine, sănătate, pace şi bucurii alături de toţi cei dragi vouă!
Cu apreciere,
Alice

 “Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.” AliceFriendsCircle.blogspot.com

Mesaj primit înspre publicare din partea Domnului Dr. Ovidiu Grecea* 

Dragă Alice & Friends,
Chiar duceam dorul unei astfel de întâmplări-eveniment, după atâta timp de restriște și jale, de încorsetări și măsuri obligatorii de urmat pentru a rămâne în viață și relativ funcționali.
Nu întâmplător, cu implicarea și sacrificiile de rigoare din partea ta, acest "prunc" de 3 ani, crescut și ocrotit cu atâta dragoste și implicare, a demonstrat că adevăratele valori se coagulează în timp... și în pofida tuturor caracterelor, percepțiilor sau comentariilor neavenite, Cercul se dovedește viabil și benefic unor elite și personalități reprezentative din comunitate.
Mult succes și sănătate, calm și înțelepciune pentru promovarea frumosului românesc, cultural și de sensibilitate sufletească, pe meleaguri canadiene.
La Mulți Ani, măi Cerculețule Mic, spre a te dezvolta și maturiza în timp util, în armonie și toleranță, cu credință în a clădi ceva trainic și frumos.
Cu sentimente prietenești și de apreciere,  
Dr. OVIDIU GRECEA
- Ministru Plenipotențiar -
Consul General/Șef de Misiune

*Domnul Ovidiu Grecea este Consul General şi Ministru Plenipotenţiar al României la Vancouver

“A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot, and realize how blessed you are for what you have.”

This event has been delivered in Romanian Language, featuring Romanian culture. 

● Previous anniversaries of ALICE & Friends Circle™ – 2020, 2019

NOTE: Dear readers, please be advised that on this website each of the previous postings, pertaining to the recurrent annual themes, portray a different perspective of the subject/s presented (same theme/s, but a different outlook without duplication due to the cultural richness of the specific topic/s discussed).