Social
connections are an important part of living a healthy life, and mostly refers
to our relationships with the people in our network.
Extrapolating further, we can safely imply that social connections are truly about
connectedness – the extent to which we engage with important, supportive people
in our lives in ways that heighten our sense of belonging and well-being.
Many
scientists believe that the need to connect with other human beings is
programmed in our DNA and we are “wired” for social connection.
Since
prehistoric time, people have lived together in (larger or smaller) groups where they found
protection, help, support, common identity and shared knowledge.
Throughout
history, families lived under the same roof, where the young would look after the infants
and the old ones, incapable to care for themselves. However,
our gregarious behavior changed with the development of big urban centers,
frequent job changes, family disintegration or physical distancing, progress of
technology, hectic lifestyles and intense work schedules and demands.
These days, we
are more “connected” than ever via social media (for example WhatsApp, Zoom, etc.), but we lack connectedness or a
sense of belonging to a group or community. Plenty of research documents show
that many adults feel more isolated and lonelier than ever. Sadly,
loneliness and isolation can create a reinforcing cycle that makes meaningful
social connection and a feeling of connectedness harder to achieve. This
slowly, but steadily, takes a toll on our physical and mental well-being. The
negative effects show up in the performance at work, in people's personal lives, and
in the ability to handle disruptions, uncertainty, and setbacks.
It
isn’t so much the struggles with external factors that bring people down as it
is the sense of facing difficulties alone versus being in it together.
Medical
science has been writing for years about the importance of social interactions
as a critical component for health, happiness and longevity.
The
effect of social connectedness in our lives is so strong that when we feel
rejected or suffer some other type of negative social interaction, our brain
feels “hurt” in the same way than when we feel physical pain. Social pain is
more similar to physical pain than we think.
To
give you an idea of how to stay connected and prevent
loneliness, consider the following suggestions, highly recommended by many
specialists:
- Start with
yourself…becoming aware of
why you act and react in certain ways may be helpful for developing more
healthy ways of interacting with others.
- Watch for your
thoughts….decreasing negative
self-talk will
help you have a brighter outlook for life and attract people you want to
interact with.
- Say “yes” more
often……participate in
social events (even the online ones)
or activities that interest you.
- Get outside of
your house and your head….go for a walk or run at a local park; start
talking to people...you’ll make an acquaintance and possibly a new friend.
- Be proactive…even if you are an
introvert; make a list of people you care about and reach out...don't
wait for others to initiate contact.
- Be friendly at
work….work relationships
can be a source of care and comradery and a place to get support when setbacks
happen. If you work in a physical office, be open to chatting for a few minutes
with whomever you encounter at the water cooler or coffee machine; consider
making a habit of eating lunch together each week instead of working through
it.
- Be present…whenever possible,
shut your computer down and meet a friend or an acquaintance for a coffee or a drink; face-to-face communication, eye contact, a smile, and closeness have
amazing benefits.
- Stay close to
your inner circle….having a group of close friends promotes
mental health and a quicker recovery from physical illness. It also could
enhance your quality of life with good conversations and feeling supported and
understood.
- Speak regularly
to immediate or extended family…these are people who in some ways know you
best and often will help you in challenging times.
- Spend quality
time with your loved ones….organize a weekly Zoom movie club
spanning 3 generations of your extended family, where each one selects a movie
that everybody has to watch with a discussion to follow.
- Prioritize
social connections in your schedule…set time each week
on your calendar to connect with people you care about whether personally or
electronically.
- Remember the
“little things”….sending a quick birthday note or a
congratulation for a happy event make people know
that you care about them.
- Re-establish
past social connections….reliving experiences and events is a great
tool to be more resilient and emotionally healthy.
- Maintain present
social connections….relationships go through periods of ups and
downs; however, you can keep them alive by being more patient, less judgmental,
and giving people the temporary space they need.
- Join a formal
group….consider enrolling
in a new class, join a book club, volunteer, chat with or help a neighbor. If
you are a foreigner living in an adopted country, join an expat group. There
are plenty of them that cater to all ages...personal and professional
interests.
Finally,
remember that life teaches us every day that our most wonderful, inspiring,
happy, funny, sad, or dreadful moments have to do with people in our lives.
What
keeps us healthy, meaningful, and fulfilled in our life is not money, power, or
fame, but the quality of our social ties.
Making an effort
to nurture and strengthen our relationships
will have the most impact on our
lives and the biggest return in our happiness.
