The relevance of staying connected

Social connections are an important part of living a healthy life, and mostly refers to our relationships with the people in our network.

Extrapolating further, we can safely imply that social connections are truly about connectedness – the extent to which we engage with important, supportive people in our lives in ways that heighten our sense of belonging and well-being. 

Many scientists believe that the need to connect with other human beings is programmed in our DNA and we are “wired” for social connection.
Since prehistoric time, people have lived together in (larger or smaller) groups where they found protection, help, support, common identity and shared knowledge.

Throughout history, families lived under the same roof, where the young would look after the infants and the old ones, incapable to care for themselves. 

However, our gregarious behavior changed with the development of big urban centers, frequent job changes, family disintegration or physical distancing, progress of technology, hectic lifestyles and intense work schedules and demands. 

These days, we are more “connected” than ever via social media (for example WhatsApp, Zoom, etc.), but we lack connectedness or a sense of belonging to a group or community. Plenty of research documents show that many adults feel more isolated and lonelier than ever. Sadly, loneliness and isolation can create a reinforcing cycle that makes meaningful social connection and a feeling of connectedness harder to achieve. This slowly, but steadily, takes a toll on our physical and mental well-being. The negative effects show up in the performance at work, in people's personal lives, and in the ability to handle disruptions, uncertainty, and setbacks. 

It isn’t so much the struggles with external factors that bring people down as it is the sense of facing difficulties alone versus being in it together. 

Medical science has been writing for years about the importance of social interactions as a critical component for health, happiness and longevity.

The effect of social connectedness in our lives is so strong that when we feel rejected or suffer some other type of negative social interaction, our brain feels “hurt” in the same way than when we feel physical pain. Social pain is more similar to physical pain than we think. 

To give you an idea of how to stay connected and prevent loneliness, consider the following suggestions, highly recommended by many specialists:

- Start with yourself…becoming aware of why you act and react in certain ways may be helpful for developing more healthy ways of interacting with others. 

- Watch for your thoughts….decreasing negative self-talk will help you have a brighter outlook for life and attract people you want to interact with. 

- Say “yes” more often……participate in social events (even the online ones) or activities that interest you. 

- Get outside of your house and your head….go for a walk or run at a local park; start talking to people...you’ll make an acquaintance and possibly a new friend.

- Be proactive…even if you are an introvert; make a list of people you care about and reach out...don't wait for others to initiate contact.

- Be friendly at work….work relationships can be a source of care and comradery and a place to get support when setbacks happen. If you work in a physical office, be open to chatting for a few minutes with whomever you encounter at the water cooler or coffee machine; consider making a habit of eating lunch together each week instead of working through it.

- Be present…whenever possible, shut your computer down and meet a friend or an acquaintance for a coffee or a drink; face-to-face communication, eye contact, a smile, and closeness have amazing benefits. 

- Stay close to your inner circle….having a group of close friends promotes mental health and a quicker recovery from physical illness. It also could enhance your quality of life with good conversations and feeling supported and understood.

- Speak regularly to immediate or extended family…these are people who in some ways know you best and often will help you in challenging times.

- Spend quality time with your loved ones….organize a weekly Zoom movie club spanning 3 generations of your extended family, where each one selects a movie that everybody has to watch with a discussion to follow. 

- Prioritize social connections in your schedule…set time each week on your calendar to connect with people you care about whether personally or electronically.

- Remember the “little things”….sending a quick birthday note or a congratulation for a happy event make people know that you care about them.

- Re-establish past social connections….reliving experiences and events is a great tool to be more resilient and emotionally healthy.

- Maintain present social connections….relationships go through periods of ups and downs; however, you can keep them alive by being more patient, less judgmental, and giving people the temporary space they need.

- Join a formal group….consider enrolling in a new class, join a book club, volunteer, chat with or help a neighbor. If you are a foreigner living in an adopted country, join an expat group. There are plenty of them that cater to all ages...personal and professional interests. 

Finally, remember that life teaches us every day that our most wonderful, inspiring, happy, funny, sad, or dreadful moments have to do with people in our lives.
What keeps us healthy, meaningful, and fulfilled in our life is not money, power, or fame, but the quality of our social ties.

Making an effort to nurture and strengthen our relationships
will have the most impact on our lives and the biggest return in our happiness.