
The truth is that we all make judgements,
as it seems to be in the human nature to do so, because one of the purposes of
the mind /brain is to judge, and we do it instinctively, subconsciously, without
realising at times; it’s a primal thing designed to “keep us safe”.
The
way we look at things, our actions, responses, opinions, behaviours,
communication, they are all showing signs of our journey in some way.
Judgements
are based on our own experiences and the lenses we view the world through,
being based on our own moral compass, values, beliefs, stories and
understanding, all of which are formed through our own life experiences – our
work experiences, relationships, teachings and interactions, things we’re
exposed to first, second and third hand, including media and social media.
Consequently,
we have thoughts and feelings around situations, circumstances, events,
practices, behaviours, beliefs, attitudes, ideas, values, people and ourselves
that will have an automatic internal response for us. Based on what you see,
hear or experience, a series of responses in your brain will be triggered.
Judgements
can also be influenced by how we’re feeling at any given moment, with things
like tolerance, acceptance & patience being the first to go when
we’re low.
On
the other hand, theoretically, being non-judgemental refers to "having a sense of balance, a sound way of
understanding misunderstandings and a civilized manner of accepting those with
whom we may disagree. This behaviour is reflected in one's words, choices,
actions and reactions."
Being
non-judgemental is how you acknowledge, deal with & manage those judgments,
the influence & impact they have – from both sides of the coin; it is about
being open minded, being in the moment, actively listening, while allowing
that judgement to pass & not interfere with being fully present for that
person or case.
To be non-judgmental, a great deal of personal awareness and understanding is required.
In
essence, being non-judgemental is about acceptance, empathy, compassion and understanding
it is about having the knowledge and skills to
be able to listen properly, to observe,
clarifying your understanding and interpretation without
assumption. This is in congruence with what you’re saying and the way
you’re behaving, being fully present, not just physically. Basically, it is meeting
that person where they are, in life, in business, mentally,
emotionally, while creating an environment that enables them to feel
safe and deal with what they need help with.
People
will make judgements, especially out there on social media, but it’s a
reflection of the person doing the judging. It is important to be careful that
applying labels and making judgments, although it seems easy
and sometimes gives momentary satisfaction of an illusory superiority, in the
medium and long term erodes or even damages relationships, breaks hearts,
steals peace & harmony, and on top of everything else, it destroys health (both of the object of the judgment, & especially of the one who judges). For the most part, it’s our own
judgements that cause us the biggest difficulties, the assumptions we make
about what other people may think or do, or how things might work out.
At this time the kindness and
understanding of the other (during his or
her difficult times) heals and restores....it is similar with a familiar feeling....when we are
held in arms, caressed and loved, a voice inside us tells us: I can go and face
the world again.
"Everything we
judge in other is something within ourselves we don’t want to face."